whirlwind

wtnb.

okay.. sorrie for starting the entry with that.
but i just typed out a nice long entry.. and then the internet had a problem and just closed down the whole thing.
grrr..
hate when that happens.

okay.. briefly.

hmm.. smehow i feel like i've been in the middle of a whirlwind lately.
like there's a lot going on around me.. but im just trying to keep up. and so far.. im not reali doing a very good job, trying to keep up in anything. it's all going too fast.. and all at the same time.

1-lectures and readings

yes. im still falling aslp in lectures. it's week 5. recess week is coming... we're almost half-way through the semester. sighs. principally it's Understanding the Universe and Total War. and it's quite sad.. because they aren't particularly bad, superbly boring lectures.. well, not exactly anyway.

Universe.. the lecturer dims the lights.. and plus im not taking it with any close friends.. so there isn't realli anyone to joke/gossip/talk cock with.

Total War.. it's very sad.. cos farrell is a good lecturer.. and i do find wars interesting.. it's just that smetimes the lectures get a wee bit dry.. and they are very long. i think it's got more to do with the fact that it's held on mondays 4-7pm.. and by that time i've already spent a large part of the day in the library, attempting to study.. and have already become quite drained.

readings. haha. im a history major smemoere. how to run away from readings?
and im taking three history modules this sem. out of which.. im only more or less up to date, as far as readings are concerned, for.. err.. one of them i think. lol nation-building.. im kinda taking for granted that we've covered this stuff before in JC.. but then again.. i dont rmbr all of it as well as i could/should.

im just realli glad im not taking german anymore. phew!
my consistency levels have dropped considerably.. i just wldn't be able to handle a language this sem.

2-being a CGL

hmm.. this has been a learning process for me. there are still things which im figuring out along the way.. and it's all good for my spiritual life.. but generally, it's taking up too much time. the planning and preparation.. when i was considering whether or not to become a cgl.. i told myself.. aiyah.. as a participant, i attend all the sessions anyway.. how much more commitment could it require? but seriously.. planning and preparation does take quite a bit of time.

but it's not so much the fact that it takes time that's a problem.
it's more that doing cg stuff/prep provides such a wonderful distraction from all the other stuff i shld be doing. i mean.. i'd MUCH rather twiddle with the cg handout, look thru passages on bible gateway, look for hymns/pictures for the handout etc.. then do my readings. :(

3-finding the balance: work, family, css, friends

argh. where does all my time go?
css twice-weekly events [CG and friday mass] are prolly the happiest time of my week.. but i can't afford any more than this. and i'd feel guilty having more dinners out.. daily dinners are family affairs in my family. and already.. im having trouble trying to keep up. those two days are effectively gone, as far as studying is concerned.

tuesdays are pretty packed with lessons.. plus worrying abt/prepping for CG.
then by the time i get home.. i take a bath.. try and catch up with family members.. and then.. if im tempted enough.. i'll prolly go online and waste sme time before heading to bed.

then weekends. bible study. and im trying v hard to make going to the adoration rm for an hr a weely habit. if at least to catch up on my bible readings. YES.. im behind on my bible readings too! sighs. lol

--
TIME TO FIND THE DRIVE AGAIN!!

was chatting online with justin lee last night.. yeah man.. he's right.. it's time to prioritise woman!!

sighs. the inspirational wallpaper on my laptop isn't working. and the feeling/mood system isn't very good either. time to try and put a new system in place. spiritual elements are all pretty much in place.. just need to spend a bit more effort in trying to get studies on track too.

drive, by Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
take the wheel and steer.
It's driven me before,
and it seems to have a vague,
haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find I
should be the one behind the wheel.

Chorus
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes. yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there,
I'll be there.

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
will I choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive? oh oh oooh.
It's driven me before
and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that
when I drive myself my light is found.

Chorus
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes. Yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there,
I'll be there...

Would you choose water over wine....
hold the wheel and drive?

Chorus
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes.
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
I'll be there

Dududuu Dududu Dududududu
Tomorrow Dududududuu
Dududuuu Dududu Dududududu
Tomorrow...

--

time to try and hold the wheel and drive. :)
i guess that would constitute getting off the bloody internet and getting on with my readings.. cos it's alrady almost 11am.

(damn. i knew this wld happen if i brought my laptop along. needless to say, i brought it along anyway.)